From Multiply: Online shopping, work, last night, you. (2008)

online shopping, work, last night, you.

Oct 4, '08 1:29 AM for badz's network

i'm seriously considering deleting all of those online shopping accounts in my contacts. i am not much of a fan of online shopping, a bit old fashioned myself. all i see in my inbox now are their products, it's like multiply spam. tsss.

about work. i'm afraid of failing, basically. normal right? but sometimes i think i'm being given too much responsibility, more than my confidence can take. i mean, i don't really mind so much that they're trusting me and my 'abilities' enough to give me certain duties and projects, but i'm scared as hell that i might not be ready yet. and i know that the only way to be ready is to prepare and to expose myself, but i'm still scared. i'm not that confident yet, i'm afraid.

about last night. friday is flyday! (-cha) last night was fun. vica, cha and i hung out at moon in the it park, stuffing ourselves and sipping cocktails. turned down drinks from cha's admirers. haha. talked, talked and talked. chilling after work. vica knows how to ride a jeepney now, it's amazing. haha. kidding vix. :) and i finally finished my book, and i really want to read the next one, but it's not available at the bookstore yet.

about how i feel. har har har. most of my friends say it's psychological, how much i miss you. that i might not exactly miss you. i miss the idea of you. i miss the memory of you that i've preserved in my head. i miss you because you're not around anymore, but i'd be sick of you if you were. honestly, i don't know. but it should be about time i gave up right? i mean obviously you're not missing me at all. at one point, i started to like someone else. you know, just a little crush, whatever. but i stopped myself, because for some stupid reason i kept holding on to the hope that you might miss me one day, and when you do, i wanted to be there. (? doesn't it sound like the man who can't be moved? haha. i swear i heard the song AFTER i realized this). my friends have been telling me to stop hoping. and at one time i almost got to the point where i killed all hope of you in me and i could finally move on. but i regressed. and as much as i want to tell you how i feel, because maybe all i really need is to get it out of my system, i find myself asking the question, 'what's the point?' because, what is it really? what can i expect? and i realized, nothing. i can't expect anything. and why complicate a friendship, a situation, if there really is no desirable end? so, unless i'll be able to quell my expectations, maybe i'd finally be able to tell you, but that's not gonna happen today.


   

edit delete reply badinebadz wrote on Oct 15, '08 alcoholic ka na ata pam. hahaha

delete reply pamgo wrote on Oct 15, '08 inum tayo. soon. hahahaha. ;-)

edit delete reply badinebadz wrote on Oct 4, '08 jonsi12 said Sucky feeling ano? Hehe. yeah, but it'll pass. i just hate this part where i'm being pathetic. hehe.

delete reply jonsi12 wrote on Oct 4, '08 badinebadz said *sigh* oh well...hehe Sucky feeling ano? Hehe.

edit delete reply badinebadz wrote on Oct 4, '08 jonsi12 said Like you, may namimiss rin ako, hehe. And yeah, I've tried liking someone else but I don't know, it doesn't seem to help. Oh, well... *sigh* oh well...hehe

edit delete reply badinebadz wrote on Oct 4, '08 adrianclee said maybe you would want to contribute regularly on our new newspaper ... Cebu Goldstar Daily. let me know, will introduce you to our lifestyle editor. =) hi nonoy ian. :) haha, ngex. i'm not sure if makapasar ako writing ana! haha. but i might know some people who would be interested. kelangan na cebu based noh? :)

delete reply jonsi12 wrote on Oct 4, '08 Like you, may namimiss rin ako, hehe. And yeah, I've tried liking someone else but I don't know, it doesn't seem to help. Oh, well...

delete reply adrianclee wrote on Oct 4, '08 maybe you would want to contribute regularly on our new newspaper ... Cebu Goldstar Daily. let me know, will introduce you to our lifestyle editor. =)